


Hello Goodbye

by liestotheheart (liesunheardof)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 04:05:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesunheardof/pseuds/liestotheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You don't get it. You never listen to me. You always act this way and I thought maybe it would be ok. But I was wrong. It isn't ok,” he said wrenching his hands out of Jeonghan’s grip. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm tired of dealing with your jealously. I’m tired of telling you I’m jealous only to get brushed off. I’m tired of being with you and not really being with you. I’m tired of being treated like this.” His shoulders drooped the fight leaving him, “I’m done. I can’t deal with this anymore.” Joshua looked at Jeonghan eyes sad. “I hope you find someone who can put up with this. Because I can’t.” He walked away, putting on his shoes and closing the door with a quiet snick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, mentions of shitty boyfriend behavior, crude language from just about everyone including Joshua, angst, JR/Ren slightly, Minhyun liking Joshua, slight mentions of Jeongcheol but they aren't actually a thing
> 
> A/N: Angst. Angst. Angst. Now Jeonghan is shitty here. As attentive as I can see him be, I can also see him being too damn afraid of a relationship and as of such does stupid shit to make his significant other break up with him, problem is he doesn't see the stupid shit he's doing so he loses people all the time minus his friends. So yea. Angst.
> 
> Inspired by the songs: David Archuleta- Not a very good liar, Jojo- too little too late, Against the Current- Chasing Ghosts and Day6-Letting go which Jihoon sings (I'll link to the lyrics. I felt it was very appropriate here)

“I’m breaking up with you.” Joshua said staring at his hands.  “What we have isn't even a relationship and I'm tired of it.” He was so tired of it. Tired of being second choice, of not being heard, of being left, of being ignored, of being used, tired.

  
“What are you even saying? Did I do something wrong? Or are you just having another weird jealous rage?” Jeonghan always saw Joshua’s questions and insecurities about how close he was to Seungcheol as jealously. He never took Joshua seriously.

  
“No!” Joshua snapped getting to his feet. “Do you not see why I’m breaking up with you?” He asked looking at Jeonghan like he grew two heads. Because if Jeonghan actually opened up his eyes he’d see that the way he treated Joshua was shitty and honestly wasn’t worth a single damn thing.

“Is this about how close I am to Seungcheol again? Because I told you lots of times I’m not interested in him.” Always bringing up that jealously thing. Jeonghan never looked past that one issue to see the rest of them.

“It’s not only that.” Joshua shook his head. He wished it was only that. It was everything and then some that had built up over the course of six months of their so called dating.

Jeonghan shook his head. “Babe I told you a thousand times. We’re just close. No reason to be jealous.”

Joshua scoffed. “Really? Then why do you get jealous when I get close to Soonyoung and Vernon? Huh? We’re just friends.” Every time he got what Jeonghan thought was too close to his friends, he’d have fit. Jeonghan would either grab him away and pout, or he’d tell Vernon and Hoshi to back off. It was cute at first. Then it got ridiculous.

“I don’t like it. There’s no reason for you to be so close.” He was always saying he didn’t like it. Like his words alone would make Joshua stop seeing his friends. What shit.

“Then why are you so close with your friends then!” He shouted; Joshua paused sighing. “Wait why am I even arguing with you again over this. You never listen to me.” Joshua pointed at Jeonghan. “You don’t even see why I’m doing this.” Jeonghan looked away off to the side. Once again Joshua got ignored when he was saying things that Jeonghan didn’t like it.

“I don’t actually. Are you done questioning my loyalty?” The blond replied, putting his hands on his knees.

Joshua groaned in frustration. Looking him dead in the eye he hissed, “How many times? How many times have we’ve gone out for you to leave me for your friends? How many times have you hung all over Seungcheol, Mingyu, Seokmin? All of your friends. How many times have you accused me of cheating on you when I hang out with my friends? How many times have you had jealous fits because I’m talking to Minhyun? How many times have I had to hear oh Jeonghan’s your boyfriend? Thought he was dating Seungcheol they’re so close.” With each progressive question his voice got higher, more agitated. Joshua had had it with everything. Was it bad for him to get jealous? If he listened to Jeonghan apparently it was. He couldn’t ignore it anymore. Especially when his friends constantly brought up how he was being treated.

Jeonghan got up from his couch and grabbed Joshua’s hands. Petting them he said, “There’s no reason to listen to those people. We’re dating. My friends know that. Your friends know.” That was a load of bull. His friends knew but didn’t believe it. Joshua could tell that Jeonghan’s friends didn’t really think they were dating either. They thought Joshua was another temporary lover and it showed.

“You don't get it. You never listen to me. You always act this way and I thought maybe it would be ok. But I was wrong. It isn't ok,” he said wrenching his hands out of Jeonghan’s grip. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm tired of dealing with your jealously. I’m tired of telling you I’m jealous only to get brushed off. I’m tired of being with you and not really being with you. I’m tired of being treated like this.” His shoulders drooped the fight leaving him, “I’m done. I can’t deal with this anymore.” Joshua looked at Jeonghan eyes sad. “I hope you find someone who can put up with this. Because I can’t.” He walked away, putting on his shoes and closing the door with a quiet snick.

* * *

 

"So heard you dropped the ball and chain" Minhyun stated. Walking into the lab room, files in hand. Lab office gossip was irritating as hell and fast as crap it seemed. He literally only broke up with Jeonghan on Saturday night and here on Monday morning people were talking about it.  
  
Joshua scoffed. Changing the microscope lens, “Not really a ball and chain if they were never around.”

  
“Well more like just a chain on you since he never did much except go on a jealous rampage when I got close.” Minhyun said. Walking over to drop off the lab results on Joshua’s desk.  
  
He sighed. Looking away from the microscope he said, “I know.” Joshua knew all too well. Being left on his own, cancelled dates for Jeonghan to hang out with his friends, being treated like something precious then to be discarded when he ‘just didn’t have time’.

  
Minhyun ruffled his hair, leaning on his chair. “Plenty of fish in the sea Joshie. You can even date me.” Which was actually something that he had asked the first few weeks Joshua got the job in this particular lab. It was nice, in a flattering way, but he hadn’t been interested. Then he dated Jeonghan; Minhyun backed off politely. Now he was free but hurting. Not a good combination.  
  
Joshua laughed. If he had dated Minhyun it would be easier, so much easier. “No. I'm off the market for a long time.” Looking at his watch he noticed the time, “I got to go to work. I’ll look over the lab results later tonight. You put them on the drive right?” Minhyun nodded. Joshua smiled, “See you tomorrow.”

“You need to stop working so hard before you collapse!” He yelled as Joshua walked away waving at him. Minhyun shook his head. If Joshua worked any harder, he really would faint one day.

* * *

 

Joshua heard the bell signal another customer walking in, “Welcome!” He shouted giving his signature smile.

Jihoon, a regular at the café, walked in. “Hey hyung how's everything?”  
  
Wasn’t that a loaded question? He gave Jihoon a brittle smile. “Good. Better than before I guess.” Shrugging his shoulders, while he keyed in Jihoon’s regular order.  
  
“I heard you broke up with Jeonghan.” Jihoon said lightly, as if he didn’t want Joshua to be set off. News traveled fast in their small circle of friends.  
  
“Yea I did.” He stopped. “I-- it wasn't working out.” Wasn’t working out was putting their “relationship” mildly. It was more like things never worked out from the start and he was too swept up in the whirlwind romance to notice.  
  
 “I could tell.”  
  
A small sad smile graced his face. “Even you could see?”  
  
Shrugging lightly, Jihoon replied, “Yea. He wasn't very attentive was he? Unless when he wanted your attention because someone else was flirting with you or you were too busy hanging out with Vernon and Soonyoung.”  
  
He hummed and nodded in agreement sadly. “You're right.” When even your regular customer turned friend noticed how Joshua’s supposed boyfriend treated him like crap, it really was obvious. “How's your little thing going?”  
  
Jihoon blinked confusedly at him. “What thing?”  
  
“The thing with that one guy. Is he still flirting with you?”  
  
“Ah that thing,” Jihoon nodded.  “No. I heard things about him being super close with this one dude and I happened to catch a slight glimpse a few days back and it does look like he was playing me.”  
  
“Oh. That sucks.” It did suck a lot for Jihoon, he could’ve used a good boyfriend or girlfriend. He overworked himself a lot. Joshua hummed quietly, “Did he ever come in here?”  
  
“Once or twice. The guy with the bowl haircut long lashes and earrings.” It couldn’t be? No.

Cautiously Joshua asked, “Wait does he have like this stocky body type and raps as a hobby?”  
  
“Yea how do you know?”  
  
Joshua let's out a bitter, hysterical laugh clutching at the bar. "That's Seungcheol. Jeonghan’s friend. The one I told you that he hung all over all the time." The damn irony of the situation didn’t allude him. Oh how he wished it would right now. He still felt fragile as hell.  
  
Jihoon frowned, marring his cute face. “So you mean that guy is the one of the reasons you broke up with your boyfriend.”  
  
Breathing in and out for a few seconds to calm himself down, he answered, “I guess. They're used to being all touchy with each other telling me it was nothing. As far as I knew it was nothing. But that didn't help much anyhow in the end. What a pair we make.” He made a grim smile tinged with sadness.  
  
Jihoon asked once more, because what the hell shit like this was way too damn coincidental. “The guy who flirted with me is the guy your ex hung all over when you were dating?”  
  
“Yes.” Joshua grabbed the finished order from his coworker and handed it to Jihoon.  
  
Taking the cup, he took a sip saying, “What a pair we do make.”  
  
“Well as far as I know Seungcheol is single so you could if you wanted.”  
  
Jihoon shook his head. God no. “If he lets Jeonghan all over him I'd rather not. People like that tend to have either dated before or want to be more than friends. Or even done something before.” He thought about what he saw the other day and shook his head harder. “That seriously is just too much. Friends ok. Touchy feely friends all the time even when you're dating other people no.” He muttered, “Not to mention they looked too damn close to not have done something before.”  
  
Joshua’s lips thinned. Oh did he know and understand what Jihoon was saying. He saw it all the time himself, letting the freshness of the relationship delude him into thinking it was nothing. How fucking stupid was he to believe what Jeonghan said when all the evidence said otherwise. “I know.”

Changing the subject rather abruptly, which Joshua was grateful for, Jihoon asked, “How’s school going? You mentioned you were almost done?”

“Yea. Just this last month and I’m done and graduated.” There was one upside to this whole debacle. No more waiting on someone who never waited for him. Joshua could pour all of his time into his school, work, and lab.

He nodded thoughtfully. “What are you doing after?” Jihoon was pretty sure he knew what Joshua was going to do, but he’d like to hear it from his friend’s mouth himself.

Joshua took out the rag to wipe down the counter, looking down at his methodical wiping, getting lost into the same repetitive motions. “I had plans to do something here, but the more I thought of breaking up with Jeonghan the more I realized very little kept me here once school was done. Besides you guys anyway. I’m going back to my original plans of leaving.” Shrugging off the pain that he felt as he said that, “I did my work with some of the other more medicinal doctors and offices, thanks to the connections via the lab. I’m pretty solid on my resume.” Joshua stopped as he saw his reflection: heavy eye bags, sunken in cheekbones, extra sharp jawline. The last few weeks leading up to the breakup and the aftermath did a number on him. He sighed. Plans changed, things happened, but he’d always have his family and friends. "I’m going home to LA. Medical school. There are universities who are incorporating the holistic methods in doctor degrees now.”

“Ah. We’ll miss you, you know?” He’d grown oddly attached to Joshua, as a barista and as a friend. He never said anything bad about his coffee addiction beyond giving small chides about taking care of himself better. He’d even slip Jihoon the odd baked good as breakfast or a snack for free. Joshua was a good friend. They talked about music, life, spent their time in silence comfortably, and hung out in his makeshift studio making music. He was going to be sad to see him go.

“Yea. I know.” Joshua tried to smile, but it hurt. “Going back home will be good for me. Being in Korea was nice, eye opening even. But that homesickness never went away.” He let out a small laugh. “Now it hurts even more.” Looking at Jihoon, “I should be glad that there isn’t much left here I guess.” And dear lord it hurt to say that. It hurt so much.

He, in his stupidity, grew attached to someone who wasn’t all that attached to him. Joshua poured his heart and a part of his soul into the relationship. He had done it too fast and too soon, but the connection just felt too right. He snorted. Too good to be true. Now he was left with a slightly mangled heart, and more experience in things he didn’t really want in the first place. Sex aside, having his heart broken and being trampled over wasn’t high on his list of things to do or learn.

“We should you know throw you a going away party,” Jihoon said, shrugging his shoulders as nonchalantly as he could. “It’d be too sad not too.”

Smiling the first genuine smile he had in a while, small as it was, “Yea. Let’s do that. One last hurrah before I go.” He cleared his throat trying to hide the slight shakiness, “Thanks Jihoonie.”

Jihoon shook his head. Laying his hand on top of Joshua’s, “It’s no problem hyung. We wouldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye.”

* * *

 

Jeonghan put his head down. The amount of chatter that was going on amongst his friends was giving him a headache. He spent a decent amount of his sleeping hours thinking about why the hell Joshua broke up with him. They were doing good, great even. Lots of talking, the healthy kind, sex, fun times. Right? So why the hell did his former boyfriend now break up with him. He was a damn catch.

Jeonghan jolted out of his reverie when Seungkwan jabbed him rather hard. “What the hell Seungkwan?”

“You weren’t paying attention hyung. We asked you if you were down for the club later tonight.” He sassed. That sassy attitude of Seungkwan’s was going to get him in trouble one day. It would bite him back in the ass. Not everyone liked sass. One day Seungkwan would fall in love and that person wouldn’t like the diva attitude.

“I didn’t sleep well last few nights. Sue me.” Jeonghan said, biting back words.

“Why’s that?” Seungcheol asked absentmindedly. He was too absorbed in playing on his phone.

Hissing, “I spent my sleep hours thinking why my boyfriend broke up with me.” It drove him mildly crazy. Fuck it all. Joshua seemed happy. Jeonghan was happy so what the fuck was up that Joshua had to leave.

“Oh. You were dating? I thought it was casual.” Mingyu mentioned offhandedly.

Jeonghan turned to Mingyu, face contorted into an offended expression. “Excuse me?”

“Casual. Like you know,” he made quotation marks, “Fuck buddies. You hardly brought him around that much and if you want to talk about it you didn’t go on that many dates did you? To even count as boyfriends. Because if you were dating, that was some shit dating you did hyung.”

Seungkwan made a noise of affirmation. Seungcheol nodded.

“He’s right hyung. You hung around us more than you did him. And even when you brought him, rare as it was you left him to his own devices. I thought it really was just sex and nothing special.” Seungkwan shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time you introduced one of you sex buddies to us.” He turned to Seungcheol, “Did he even introduce Joshua to us as his boyfriend?”

“Hmmm. Don’t think so.” Seungcheol shook his head, still not paying that much attention. “He goes through people by the dozen. Am I supposed to remember?”

“What the fuck?” Jeonghan said. “I don’t. I did introduce Joshua to you guys. We dated. For six months might I add!”

“Oh.” Seungcheol said, looking up surprised. “That long? Damn. Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve toned down the touchy feely. Your last serious relationship ended because of me right?”

“No shit Sherlock! You were also a minor cause for this one too.” Jeonghan retorted, pissed as hell.

“You can’t blame this entirely on hyung,” Seungkwan said. “You’re a pretty shitty boyfriend hyung. I saw your face a lot for someone who’s supposedly had a boyfriend. Without your boyfriend too. Did you ever take him out? Wait.” He said waving his hands. “Did you even know his birthday? That’s pretty indicative of boyfriend status things. Birthdays and the like.”

“Yes, I do.” Jeonghan said. He was silenced though by what they said. Was he a shitty boyfriend after all? He did hang out with his friends a lot: clubbing, studying, eating. When did he ever spend time with Joshua? Beyond the times he spent at home and the sex. Shit, shit, shit. Was he a fucking bastard?

He heard a familiar laugh, whipping his head around he saw Joshua walking with that damn Minhyun guy. Mouth open in a mid-snarl he got up. Just because Joshua broke up with him doesn’t mean he agreed to it. And it was only a couple days ago and here Joshua was with another guy? No.

* * *

Joshua let out a peal of laughter. “No way. Tell me Ren didn’t do that. Oh my god JR must be asking for his death.”

“Yes Ren totally did that,” he replied back walking with Joshua to the next seminar. “JR did it unknowingly. So I guess Ren will forgive him soon.” He wrapped his arm around Joshua’s shoulders, “Listen though it’ll be entertaining as hell. Do you want to come with me to watch it go down at the bar tonight?”

Joshua shook his head. “Can’t. I’m finishing up my last paper up. And then I’m hanging out with Soonyoung and Vernon. Some last minute hang outs. Before you know.” He said with a shrug.

“Ah. Yea,” he squeezed Joshua’s shoulder in comfort, “I’m getting an invite too right? You can’t leave me with no invite.” Minhyun added a bit of a whine into his voice for good measure.

Laughing Joshua nodded. “Of course you get one. I don’t know what they’re planning though. I think—“

“Joshua!”

Turning his head Joshua saw Jeonghan come up running to them. What in the world did his ex want now?

He stopped looking at Jeonghan warily. “What? I returned your stuff the other day and took my things. What little was there. I even left the key. So what business do we have now?” He wanted to spend the last of his few weeks away from his ex, yet here he was running into him. Why couldn’t he leave Joshua alone?

Joshua could see that Jeonghan was in his vicious bitchy mood. He was going to say shit that was going to hurt. Well he could go fuck himself, Joshua didn’t have to take it. “You know what? I’m not talking to you. Bye.”

As he turned he felt his arm being grabbed. He looked back to see Jeonghan grab his arm. Minhyun tightened his hold, waiting for Joshua to do something, as it wasn’t his business but he was there to help.

Gritting his teeth Joshua demanded, “Let go.”

“I never agreed to us breaking up.” Jeonghan said, his eyes glaring daggers at Minhyun for a second before turning back to Joshua.

Joshua huffed. “You agreed when you didn’t say anything to refute it and when you didn’t go after me. I think if that’s any indicator of wanting to break up, it’s a pretty damn big one.”  He pulled his arm, “Now let go.”

“We’re not broken up. And here you are with that guy hanging all over you,” Jeonghan tilted his head, face turning deadly.

Joshua braced himself for something cutting.

“I thought you were the pure sort. And here you are whoring around behind my back.”

Pushing Minhyun’s arm off his shoulder, Joshua swung and slapped Jeonghan hard. He hit him with enough force that the other man’s grip loosened, giving Joshua the opportunity to pull his arm back. “Screw you.” How fucking dare he? After everything he put Joshua through. Heart pounding hard, Joshua bit out, “We’re done. I’m not yours to be jealous over. So you can take your macho shit and shove it up your ass.” He tightened his hand into a fist. “If I want to be dating someone else that’s my business not yours. Not like you ever made me a part of business,” he scoffed.

“If anyone of us was the whore here, it’s you.” Joshua wanted to take it back but it was too late. And in all honesty Jeonghan fit the bill more than he did. He watched as Jeonghan flinched. He had told Joshua once that he was called that a lot, shrugging off his hurt then as something that wasn’t new to him. And here Joshua was calling him that again. Joshua would feel bad if he could even muster up feelings of sympathy for Jeonghan anymore. “You let Seungcheol hang all over you when we were supposed to be together. Not to mention the shit I heard about you even before I started dating you.”

The wind blew hard, like it knew that Joshua and Jeonghan were having a showdown. “My friends warned me. Hell my classmates warned me.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “I was stupid to take up with you. So back off. We’re done.” He said to Minhyun, “Let’s go.”

As the two of them walked away he heard his name once more. Strained, a bit sad, laced with something like remorse, “Shua.” Jeonghan croaked out, “Please.”

He choked a bit. That dumb pet name in that stupid voice. Joshua was a softie. He would almost always turn to Jeonghan when he apologized like that. It always sounded so sincere before. But now, now it sounded ugly and fake. Shaking his head Joshua replied, letting the wind carry his words. “No. No more. I wasn’t important to you before. Now you’re not important to me either.” He kept walking.

 Minhyun looked back a bit, shaking his head at the sight of Jeonghan. As the young man looked up. Minhyun smirked at him. Joshua and him weren’t dating but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make Jeonghan think they were. Shifting his arm down to Joshua’s waist, he took the tiniest of pleasures in watching Jeonghan face fall.

* * *

 

 

Vernon’s parents were nice enough to lend them the use of the house, with conditions attached. Cleaning and no breaking of anything. And don’t make the neighbors hate us. All rules they could deal with. They apparently planned for minor drinking, food, and goodbye presents and speeches.

Joshua whooped as Soonyoung put on a show with Jun and Minghao. Their dancing was amazing even if it was limited to the small porch of the Chwe’s backyard. He was happy yet he felt mildly sick to his stomach. He would miss them so much. But he didn’t want to stay any longer; he finished his last classes, resigned from the lab, and quit the café job.

 He clapped and whistled as they finished their performance. Those three never ceased to amaze him with their fluidity. Even when he took some time to play with them and learn he could never grasp the same sort of flexibility. Soonyoung would always console him and say it was because he only did it on occasion not every day like they did. If Joshua did he would be just as good. But he settled for having fun with them.

“That was amazing. You guys were great.” He grabbed all of them in a group hug. This would be the last time he hugged them. As they couldn’t see him off at the airport, and he didn’t want them too. He was too afraid of seeing Soonyoung cry, and precious Minghao might actually shed tears, which would make him cry too. Jun, good ol’ Junnie would hold them back but shed them once he saw Soonyoung cry. It’d be a crying fest and it wouldn’t do for a farewell.

“We did our best for you hyung,” Jun said.

Joshua hugged them harder. “Thanks guys.” He buried his head into their sweaty shoulders holding back his tears.

He felt a clap on his back. Looking up he saw Vernon holding up some water bottles. “Got to let the performers breathe Josh. Here guys, rehydrate before we drink some more.”                            

“Tell your parents later thank you again for this. They didn’t have to let us use their house.”

Vernon grabbed him by the neck. “It’s no problem. They love you. Not to mention they’ll miss you too.” He smirked a little, “Although I think Sophia will miss you more. She’s sad that her Joshua oppa will be leaving.”

Sighing, Joshua said, “I’ll miss her too. Your parents as well. They were like my second set of parents.” He took a swig of his drink, a light cider beer. He had to be awake decently early tomorrow to finish up handing his keys over and getting to the airport in time for check in.

“You sure you won’t reconsider?” Vernon asked, sounding like a lost little kid who was losing his big brother forever.

“There’s nothing left to reconsider,” he replied raking his hand through his hair. “Life and moving on, Vernon. That’s all there is left. Besides you guys.” He didn’t dare say the words ‘You guys aren’t enough to make me stay.’ It was true but it would be cruel. But so was staying. He had so much life left to live and Joshua didn’t think Korea help him get any further.

Hugging Joshua hard, Vernon whispered, “I’ll miss you man.”

Joshua smiled, holding back tears, “I’m just a phone call or skype call away.” He punched him lightly in the chest as Vernon moved away, “I’d say something cornier but I think it’d make you cry.”

He laughed as Vernon shouted, “Nuh Uh!”

The two started to tussle, attracting the attention of their other friends and the people who wanted to say goodbye to Joshua. Jihoon walked over once he heard them shouting.

Seeing Jihoon come over, Joshua yelled, “Jihoonie! Help!” He laughed as Vernon jabbed him a few more times.

Jihoon smiled and moved to jab Vernon in the stomach, causing him to release Joshua. Who bent his upper body, placing his hands on his knees, laughing.

As laughs kept petering out, he said, “Thanks, Jihoonie.”

“No problem.” Pointing at Vernon, “Run along now. It adult time,” he joked. Vernon had finally become legal enough to drink just this year, which kept being a running joke amongst them.

“So party going well?” Jihoon asked.

Getting up from his bent position, Joshua replied, “Yea,” with a soft smile on his face.  “It’s going great. Thanks for helping them with it.”

Jihoon shook his head. “It was no problem. One last hurrah right?” He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yea,” Joshua said, breathing in the light happiness in the air, “One last hurrah.”

The night winded down as people gave him presents or hugs and did ridiculously hilarious speeches or ones that made him tear up slightly. But they apparently saved the best for last because Jihoon was going to sing for them. One last thing before they party ended.

Jihoon crooned,

[ “hal mal isseo boja hagon amu mal eopsi maju anja jigeum meorissogen i mareul haeya hana mana wonhaji anhjimanhaneopsi kkeureoango issdeonneol nwaya hae nan amugeosdo haejul su issneun ge eopsneundenaega eopseoyaman haengbokhal neoraseonoha noha noha…”](https://www.quotev.com/story/6820698/Kpop-song-lyrics/16)

He kept singing and strumming his guitar until the last note. Joshua choked on his tears. Wiping them away, he wondered why it hurt yet felt soothing at the same time. He felt Vernon, Soonyoung, Jun, and Minghao come up behind him, giving him a hug, enfolding him into their embrace as he let the tears spill. Goodbyes were sad, but he knew that he would always remain their friend, if all of this love wasn’t easy to tell.

“Jihoonie,” he sniffled, holding out his arms for a hug.

Jihoon sighed but he went into Joshua’s embrace anyhow.

“Thanks,” Joshua whispered, tears hitting the top of Jihoon’s head.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Go on and be happy hyung. Call us if you ever want to talk. We’re here.”

The rest of them nodded as they continued hugging each other. For all of them minus one it would be last time they’d see him until he touched down in LA. He felt tears on his shoulder, lifting up Soonyoung’s face he wiped them away gently, as Jun wiped Joshua’s eyes. Minghao sniffled lightly. Vernon looked away and down and Jihoon hid in Joshua’s back letting his tears spill. God he would miss these people so much.

* * *

 

Jeonghan had spent the last weeks partying and hanging out with his friends trying to forget about Joshua. Because his friends were right; he didn’t treat Joshua like he was his boyfriend at all. So it was best that he said his goodbyes and let go. Yet he couldn’t. His brain would bring up at the most inconvenient times memories of Joshua: laughing at him, laughing with him, kissing him, smiling at Jeonghan, caring for Jeonghan, making love. He was so damn dumb. Jeonghan hadn’t treated him well at all and now he wanted him back. But all of his calls went to voicemail, texts went unanswered, checking out Joshua’s old haunts proved to be fruitless.

Today was the last day he tried to find his ex to apologize. He walked into the Joshua’s work place, greeted by one of the workers who always had the same shifts as Joshua. Walking up to the counter he asked, “Do you know when Joshua’s working? If he’s working today?”

She let out a tiny, “Oh.” She shook her head. “You don’t know? Joshua quit a few weeks ago. He’s going back to LA. We threw him a going away party two weeks ago here. He hasn’t been by since.”

Slamming his hands on the counter, he asked, “When? Did he say when he’s leaving?”

“No.” She said shaking her head at Jeonghan’s dramatics. “He never mentioned it.”

At that moment the doorbell rang, indicating another customer.

They walked to the counter ignoring Jeonghan’s presence saying, “One iced coffee, three shots please.”

Jeonghan whirled around recognizing Jihoon’s voice. “Jihoon?!” He grabbed onto the other’s shoulders. “You have to know when Joshua is leaving. Don’t you? Tell me.” He begged. He needed to know.

“Why should I tell you? It’s not like it’ll change a damn thing.” Jihoon said, glaring at him.

Nearly shouting, Jeonghan said, “If it won’t change a damn thing then tell me when.”

Scoffing, Jihoon contemplated a bit. “You’re right. You won’t be able to catch him anyway I guess. He’s leaving today. His plane is schedule to leave in an hour.”

Jeonghan let go, running out of the café. He heard Jihoon say one last thing. “Good luck getting to him in time. You’ll need it,” laughing at Jeonghan.

He was lucky enough to get on the express train that was leaving in ten minutes. He didn’t even bat an eye at the ticket fee. This was the fastest way to Incheon International and his only chance at getting there in time. He hoped he did.

Giving her one last hug Joshua said, “Thanks Auntie for driving me here. You didn’t have too.”

“Don’t be silly Joshua,” she said hugging him tightly. As she let go she ruffled his hair, “I get the chance to say good bye. And why wouldn’t I for the second son I never gave birth too,” laughing good naturedly.

He smiled back at her before moving to Vernon. “Come here bro.” Holding out his arms for Vernon to give him one last hug for a long while. “Don’t miss me too much,” he whispered as he held onto him. Patting him on the back Joshua commented, “I still can’t believe you shot past me still,” laughing quietly even as he felt Vernon shake a bit.

Pulling the other’s face away, he was surprised by the tears. “Don’t cry now.” He chided Vernon. “If I’d known you’d cry I’d just make Soonyoung take me.”

Sniffling Vernon said, “That baby would cry buckets.” He wiped his tears using his sleeve like the little kid Joshua remembered from summers spent in Korea, who was bullied for his mixed blood.

Joshua laughed. “He would.” He pulled Vernon in for one last hug, “Be good all right. Call. Text. Message me lots. Now stop crying.” Smiling at Vernon, he moved away. “Bye Auntie. Tell Sophia I said goodbye and that I’m sorry I couldn’t goodbye in person one more time. And uncle too.” He turned to Vernon, “I’ll video call you guys when I land.” Holding out his curled fist for a bump, he smiled as Vernon fist bumped him even through his tears. “Bye man.”

“Bye man,” Vernon said.

Joshua went to check in and then sit for the last few minutes until he could board the plane.

* * *

 

Jeonghan ran from the train station into the terminal. Looking around he checked the flight board for the information he needed. Lady luck shined down at him as he saw only one plane leaving for LAX in the next few minutes. Running with all his might to the right area of the terminal he watched as people were boarding the train.

Spotting a familiar long, burgundy coat he yelled, “Joshua!”

Heads turned around. He searched for the face he was interested in, spotting it near the entrance of the plane. Joshua eyes were wide in shock. He shook his head in disbelief. Jeonghan watched as he gripped his carry on handle hard, staring back at him with those eyes he loved and should’ve appreciated more. The other passengers walked past Joshua, all boarding the plane. He saw as the flight attendant patted him on the shoulder. Joshua turned and showed her the ticket. She talked and the intercom went off for the last passengers to board the plane as it was closing its doors in two minutes.

“Shua please!” He always used it when Joshua was being stubborn or particularly hard headed about something and Jeonghan wanted attention or just for Joshua to stop being so angry. It was his only weapon, even if he had been ignored the last time he used it. “I’m sorry!”

Joshua turned back to him, eyes sad. Those big, bright, lovely eyes filled with water. But Joshua didn’t move. Not one inch. He shook his head at Jeonghan, as if he were saying no. With one last tap from the flight attendant Joshua moved. It wasn’t toward the terminal. Joshua moved into the plane, not sparing Jeonghan one last glance.

* * *

 

Joshua moved into the plane, and put his carry on into the above compartment. Sitting down gently, he slowly put on his seat belt. He couldn’t believe that the stupid bastard had come to say goodbye. Or more like apologize it seems. To what end he didn’t know. How he found out when Joshua was leaving was another mystery. But he wouldn’t put it past Minhyun or Jihoon to let things slip out to see the guy suffer. The funny thing though was that Joshua was also suffering.

“Do you need some tissues sir?” The flight attendant asked, holding out a packet of tissues.

Tears fell from his eyes, once again. God he was tired of crying. Silently taking the packet of tissues, he nodded his thanks. Patting them away, he ignored the stinging of his heart and the feeling like he couldn’t breathe. He would get past this. He had done this one too many times in the last several months. His heart would heal and forgive him in time for the damage he let it take. Tears fell onto his coat sleeve, he hated how he remembered that Jeonghan complimented how it looked on him when he bought it. Intercom buzzing, the head flight attendant went through the routine and told them to buckle up as the plane was taking off now. Joshua laid back into the chair letting the last of tears fall.  As the plane took off he said one last silent goodbye to the relationship and the man that broke his heart.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help this. I started it a long time ago and now I finished it. Sorry. I don't write angst like ever so yea


End file.
